I feel like I need to introduce myself to.....myself.
Hi Candace good to meet you.
I need to learn more about myself and discover who I am. The past five years I have being trying to live in the past and comparing myself to others. Thinking that my life is not good enough and wishing I lived someone elses life when i have plenty of things good in my own life. No one ever asks to get sick and I thought I had it all planned out. Do good in school, go to college, have as little debt as possible etc....Living with mental illness is not fun. It debilitates you and unless you have dealt with it yourself it is not something easily understood. I find myself asking the same question every day "why?" I hold on to that little bit of hope that I can go back to my 23 year old carefree self instead of this 28 year old prisoner of myself. I don't want to look back when I am old and regret not living my life. The part that gets to me the most is that people are very ignorant about mental illness and that it is just and excuse for sympathy. I would offer them to walk a day in my shoes but I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I need to stop living how "society" thinks I should live and start living with what feels right for me. I will make mistakes, get frustrated, cry, but I will not give up!